How My Father Brought Me Back to Life

“The future turns out to be something that you make instead of find.” – Lewis Lapham

I lost my father unexpectedly. My father suffered from a brain aneurysm and passed away immediately. My father was my rock, my world. I was crippled.  He was the only person in my life who loved me unconditionally.

I was paralyzed. Paralyzed with fear, and uncertainty of how I would go on in life without having him as my cheerleader.  How would I? I would never hear the excitement in his voice when I called him, or the smile on his face when he saw me? Life as I knew it was over! I was now fatherless.

After months of hiding and running away from the pain felt from my loss, I began to wonder what was it that my father saw in me? He spent my entire life bragging to his friends about how amazing his daughter was. But truthfully, I did not feel amazing. I couldn’t even pinpoint any part of me that he felt was worth talking about to his friends. I felt lazy, unmotivated and unworthy. I was a 30-year-old college dropout. I was living a life where I had forgotten about my dreams and never challenged myself. I worked a job where there was no opportunity for growth. I wasn’t healthy, emotionally or physically. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and spending way too many nights out, socializing until the wee hours of the morning. I had no dreams. Well, I did at one point, but I had forgotten about those decades ago. I was a lost soul, living a life without purpose.

I spent more than a year depressed until one morning when I woke up and had an epiphany. I realized that even if I wasn’t the person my father thought I was, it didn’t mean that I couldn’t still become that person. I was going to turn my life around and be the person that I had always envisioned, the one my father always saw. Where was I going to start?

I started by taking a few classes at the local community college. Eventually, I found myself with enough credits to transfer to a four-year state school. I put down my cigarettes and picked up my old, beat-up running shoes. The open road offered me an opportunity to reconnect with my own personal thoughts, but to also talk with my father.  Running brought me peace. I began to run regular races and with each and every race I ran I found that I was changing. My self-doubt had taken a new shape and was being formed into self-confidence.  I was on a new path, a healthy path that would ultimately bring me peace.

When I started to challenge myself, I actually began achieving things in life that were larger than any personal vision I previously had. I graduated with honors (Phi Alpha) and because of this, I was accepted into a Master’s program at the University of Southern California. I went from being a college dropout to being accepted into one of the most prestigious schools in the United States. I was starting to see less and less of the old me, and more and more of the new me.  The paranoia and self-doubt that had crippled me disappeared, and it was replaced with an incessant desire to push the envelope and try harder at life!

I decided to pack up all of my belongings and leave my home state of Connecticut for California. I left the past I was holding onto for so long, for the new future that I was assured was waiting for me. What I found was amazing. What I found was a new chance at life!

It has almost been ten years since I lost my father. What I realize now, and didn’t realize then, is that my father gave me life, not once but twice. He breathed it into me the first time he held me in his arms on the day I was born, and he did it again with his last breath. You see the loss of my father prompted me to change my life, and I am not sure that I would have been strong enough to change before.

There are pieces of my father that I will never be able to have again. I would give anything to hold my father’s hand. I would give anything to hear his voice, his laugh or even just be able to look at him. These pieces of him are lost forever, but what I have been left with is something much deeper. I have been left with a second chance at life. I know that it was his last breath that brought life back to mine. It was because of that last breath that I am where I am today, filled with love, acceptance and desire to succeed beyond any previous personal limitations. For the first time in my life, I am whole.

Do you ever wonder about how your life could be different if you had responded to an event or circumstance in a different way?

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SECRETS OF THE MILLIONAIRE MIND BY T. HARV EKER | ANIMATED BOOK REVIEW

did you know how much your mind has to do with your success?

Jack Canfield: The Success Principles

wize man do you agree?

How I Did Something I Sucked At and Survived

The cold office wall held me upright as my breakfast teased the back of my throat. All I could do was focus on my breathing.

My boss had booked me to coach a workshop for corporate professionals. She believed I could do it, yet my self-belief had quickly dissolved two minutes after she told me the news.

As I waited outside the conference room, my fears jockeyed for front row seats in my mind as I scrambled to assemble coherent thoughts.

Fast forward three hours and guess what? I lived!

It was no Academy Award-winning performance, but everyone was happy.

I didn’t embarrass myself, freeze like a deer in headlights, or burst into flames.

I did suck a bit though. I tripped over my words. I’m sure I was beetroot red at some point. And I forgot to follow my slides.

But something unexpected happened.

As the workshop came to a close, I felt a tsunami of confidence arise inside me and I skipped out of that room on cloud nine. It was a pivotal moment that shaped my future. The lessons I learned were transformational. Here they are:

1. Success isn’t born in a single moment

It’s easy to think of success as a grand fireworks moment. One day you’re cruising along and bam, you run headfirst into sparkling success. But here’s your wake-up call – life’s not like that.

Success at anything is built over time. Success begins the moment you decide to commit one hundred percent to your goal and to do what it takes to get there. Success is built upon the failures of the weeks, months and years that precede it.

2. Your actions define you

It’s a fact – you can’t learn to swim by reading a book. You’ve got to get in the pool and get wet. Your thoughts are the same. They’re the beginning of your understanding, but you’ll never grow and master new skills just by thinking about them.

Practicing, experimenting, and experience enable you to learn, not fancy theories, ideas, and knowledge. And the more you do anything, the bigger and better your results will be. You are a product of your actions, not your thoughts.

3. Embracing uncertainty makes you stronger

We live in an uncertain world. It’s just the way it is. And it’s natural to want to cling to certainty to feel safe. But waiting for certainty will never lead to success – it’ll never happen. You’ve got to learn to embrace uncertainty and to be flexible when faced with the unfamiliar to be able to cope and learn how to thrive.

Doing new things that you suck at is the perfect way to throw yourself into an uncertain situation. It strengthens your relationship with uncertainty and the fears and emotions that go with it.

4. Mistakes feed your mind

Your mind is a muscle, and to build strong muscles, you need to use them. Every time you work hard at new things and make mistakes, your mental muscle gets tired. It may even hurt. But as it repairs itself, it gets stronger.

Mistakes are the best ways to discover your boundaries as you learn what it feels like in the moments right before you reach them. You’ll become more mentally agile, learn faster and be able to push yourself further with every mistake you make.

5. Failure offers three crucial choices

It’s a given that you’re going to take a fall at some stage. And when you do, you’ll have three choices.

You can choose to deny your role in what’s happened, avoid the truth or blame others. You can choose to surrender to the emotion and react in frustration, anger or tears. Or you can choose to gain from the insights and to accept, learn and grow from the experience.

The Bitter Truth about Your Comfort Zone

Now, this may sound a little shocking.

Living in your safe little world, packed with comfort and certainty, will only ever lead to mediocrity. To live your biggest dreams, you’ve got to put yourself out there.

You won’t always succeed. You’ll possibly suck big time. You’re sure to fail once or twice. But every time you do, you’ll grow ten times stronger. If you want to change your life, the only way is to get moving, walk your talk and take action.

The bitter truth is that you’ll be more of a failure if you stay living in your cozy, safe zone of things that you know you’re good at.

So if you’re looking for a burst of life-changing motivation, say yes to something that terrifies you.

Say yes to something that you know deep down is good for you, but you fear you’re not good enough to do.

Say yes to yourself and give yourself the opportunity to be extraordinary.

And remember this . . .

There is no failure, only feedback.

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When Life Changes, Success Puts on Different Clothes

“I didn’t know where I was going until I got there.”

When we were kids, life was so fun and fresh. Maybe it’s because we dived straight into adventure. Because we didn’t think of success or failure in the way we think now.

I’ve always been passionate about creativity. When I was a kid I would draw all over the wardrobe doors, they were pure white just like a blank canvas. Back then we lived in a very small apartment with only one bedroom, and the only wardrobe in our home. Yet my mother didn’t stop me from drawing. She would even encourage me with kind words and compliments, and from time to time she would wash clean the wardrobe doors.

In high school, I developed a passion for the arts. However, I also started to notice that there are things that “I needed to do” in order to succeed in life, and on the other had things I wanted to do. I was studying really hard, and aiming for a very successful career in information science and programming. I even went to national competitions for Math and Physics and had really good results. The problem was, I felt really empty inside. Although everybody was vigorously supporting me to continue on the “path of success”, I felt miserable, and my heart was aching for something more meaningful. I wanted to do art. Deep down I knew, I’m not this person everybody thinks I am. I was thirsty for self-discovery.

We moved to a bigger apartment. I devoted myself to martial arts training. It was really beautiful and refreshing. I felt enthusiastic again. I met new friends, some of them are still some of my best friends. My grades and performance at school slightly lowered, but I was okay. I fell in love with my new passion and became fascinated with this different way of life. After 5 years of training, the passion was still burning and I dreamed of being a professional martial arts teacher. I started putting in even more effort, but instead of more progress, I started to face frustrations. It was a period of emotional turbulence for me. My personal relationships were pushing me to my limits. My pursuits and failures felt painful.

Going to the other extreme, and completely dedicating myself to my passions, wasn’t working as well as I thought it would. There were moments of euphoria, and lot’s of self-discovery that I treasure, but eventually it became too much. I was realizing that just a strong desire will not bring me across the river. I had to do the work. I had to row. I had to go every step of the way. Although I earned my Aikido black belt after 5 years of training, I started to realize that I was very far from being a professional instructor.

I guess especially when we’re young, we are running to meet our goals very quickly, not really having the patience or grit. We get disappointed very easily. We take everything personally and get offended very easily.

My final years at college were a mess. I was late with my exams and didn’t manage to graduate in time with my generation. I was trying to pursue a different career in Animation and Design, which was so different from the programming career that I was always supposed to pursue. I even tried music for a while. I composed and produced 5 original songs, music and lyrics and did a few gigs, but it wasn’t enough. Creative breakthroughs gave me much fulfillment, but I was running out of money. I was stuck in a vacuum between finding a job and finishing my degree but not doing good progress at any of those two.

One day, a former high-school professor met me on the street. He remembered that I was one of the top students in my class during my high school years and was sad to hear I’m not doing so well anymore. He helped me find my first job as a game developer. After starting work, my life started to improve. I got my college degree. I met a girl I’m still happily in love with. I got a small salary raise and started a blog.

If I look back, I can see that my goals and dreams have dramatically changed over the years. I have achieved many things and have many yet to achieve, but that is not the full story. There are so many little moments in between those big goals that are so full of life. This is where most of us miss out. I often remind myself, that although some dreams may die out, you can always have your passion reborn again. Maybe it will be in a completely new form. Maybe it will come to you as something you never did before, but it’s the same underlying quality.

“Success means different things at different times and circumstances. Don’t get attached to ideas.”

To finish off, I would like to share with you some core values that remained with me all the time,
and I believe they add value to a person’s life. Here is a short list:

1. Keep learning
2. Polish your skills or develop new ones
3. Engage with people
4. Find smarter and/or better ways to solve old problems or repetitive chores
5. Don’t run away from difficulties
6. Learn to relax and let go
7. Find people you can be deeply honest with

Do you have your own core values that have stayed with you for a very long time?

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Tony Robbins - What they dont teach you about FEAR

Fear can help if you harness it and control it, do you agree?

Become More Positive…by Using These Ten Powerful Phrases

A positive frame of mind changes you and how you think, enabling you to lift up other people. So if we express interest in others and listen, we’ll get clues about the good things they are trying to do. Then we can respond with encouraging and uplifting phrases. The point is a simple change in the wording of a response can change another person’s outlook and positivity. What kinds of words and phrases do you speak? Are you dragging people down or lifting them up?

Whether you are leading a company, a department, a volunteer committee, friends, or your children, you’ll find that positive phrases are infectious and concentrated fuel for change. Looking for the good and complimenting others rather than complaining and finding fault, can cause dramatic change  – one in which we would all lift each other up. Every society needs people who can encourage and stimulate and cheer. They are the ones who make the world run. You can be one of them!

Ten Positive Phrases by Rich DeVos from his book, TEN Powerful Phrases for Positive People:

1)     I’m wrong. Saying “I’m wrong” is one of the most difficult phrases to say and genuinely mean it. It is difficult to admit when we are wrong, and even harder still to say out loud. It is all part of this shift in our decision to create a positive atmosphere instead of a negative one. Our outward expression of  admitting wrong can serve as an example of our willingness to change and can also inspire others to change in positive ways. None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes. Our first inclination is to furiously defend our position rather than admit to someone or ourselves that we are wrong. In those unsettling moments when we are wrong, we need to adjust our thinking by accepting our mistake and considering how we can best settle things with the other person. Summoning the courage to say “I’m wrong” is how we cope with difficult situations.

2)     I’m Sorry. Along with saying “I’m wrong,” we have to be sorry for it. It is amazing how many problems disappear once we decide to say we’re sorry; all the anger and emotion fall away. Saying “I’m sorry” shows that we are able to see the other person’s point of view; it validates your concern for them and the desire to patch the relationship that otherwise might be damaged. “I’m wrong” and “I’m sorry” are companions.

3)     You Can Do It. Being positive is a decision – something we can learn if we focus on looking for what’s good in other people; if you are a positive person, your attitude will also rub off on others. The value of creating a positive atmosphere is significant when you realize that positive actions stem from a positive attitude; and a positive attitude is developed when we are in the right atmosphere. A “can do” attitude begins with being surrounded by parents, teachers, friends, supervisors, and employers who create an atmosphere in your heart and mind that “you can do it.” We all have a great opportunity to be positive people who encourage more “can do” people.

4)     I believe in you.  One of the most effective ways we can help others achieve their dreams is to assure them, “I believe in you.”  To achieve, we all must believe in ourselves; we must believe that we can be the winner, the achiever, the successful person who reaches goals. As a parent, friend, supervisor, employer, we should attempt to do whatever we can to let these people know we believe in them – to encourage them to believe in themselves and go on to achieve more than they thought possible. Imagine the impact on the lives of people to whom you say, “I believe in you.” You’re saying you have faith in their abilities to achieve something that is yet to be done. With each little success they begin to believe in themselves a little more.

5)     I’m proud of you. As wonderful as it is to take pride in our accomplishments, the power of that feeling is multiplied manifold when others go out of their way to announce to us, “I’m proud of you.” Recognition encourages us to use our God-given talents to do the best. You can help people grow and give them hope when you tell them, “I’m proud of you.” Better yet, put it in writing in a thoughtful note.

6)     Thank you. Saying “thank you” is an acknowledgment of the other person’s generosity. It recognizes the other person’s kindness and the effort that person made to think of us. “Thank you” says we appreciate a job well done and the time someone devoted to develop his or her talents to perform for us. Saying thank you and gestures of thanks are expressions of our love or kind thoughts about an individual. Whenever we give even a small gift, the saying really is true that “it’s the thought that counts.”  But what is most important is that we put our thoughts into action with a gesture: a card, a gift, or any expression of thank you that says, “I appreciate you.”

7)     I need you. People love being needed; we get a sense of purpose when we know we are needed. “I need you” is a powerful phrase for positive people because it acknowledges that each of us is created for a purpose and to fulfill a need. People are not like surplus parts; when we know we are needed, we feel better about ourselves, perform better, and even want to do more to show how much we are truly needed. Whatever the nature of any meaningful relationship, it is built in a large part on mutual need; there is no I in team!

8)     I trust you. Saying “I trust you” is a powerful phrase that helps cement relationships among people who depend upon each other. We need trust as our personal, unwritten contact with our primary partner, family, friends, and co-workers. We need to say “I trust you” as a sign of the confidence we hold in people with whom we share a special bond in supporting relationships. We need to level with people at all times, whatever our answer. If you speak to people honestly, you will always have their trust.

9)     I respect you. You must earn respect by showing respect. Each person has value and is gifted in some way. No matter what or who they are or what they do, everyone is important to someone. Therefore, we learn to respect them. Earning and showing respect begins with listening to people and sincerely respecting their points of view. Everyone has some achievement in his or her life. If you ask someone a few questions and learn a little about that person, you’ll discover reasons to say, “I respect you.” Respect becomes part of your nature when you show an interest in people and listen.

10)I  love you. To say “I love you” and mean it with all of your heart has remarkable power. ”I love you”  is a powerful phrase that expresses the way we feel about people – whether it’s romantic love, family relationships, or even a close friend – it is a form of love. Love can come in many shapes; you can love someone in a very personal way, your children in a slightly different way, and people you need in your life in yet a different form of love. We need to find ways to express our love to others with whom we have close relationships or who play important roles in our lives. Saying “I love you” is a warmer way to express ourselves; it is a more tender way to express our feelings for people we admire and appreciate. Love is a term of great trust and belief – the strongest term you can use to speak to another person if you feel that way about them.



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Tools to Set Goals and Reach Them Make Your Goals Happen When you want to reach your goal, it isn't enough to close your eyes and wish hard. Instead, you can plan for success, set your goals and plan how to reach them. You can use a few proven tools that help people achieve their goals, that can work for you, too. Choose a specific, well-defined goal. Prepare a task list of small actions that will bring you closer to your goal. Train your mind to achieve a goal with positive thinking. Share your goal with others. Ask for help from others. Work on your goal tasks every day. Off to a Good Start – Set Your Goal Plan to get what you want by starting with a specific, written goal. Follow these guides. Express your goal as a positive statement, rather than a negative one, and include specific, measurable results in your goal statement. It should be a goal for you, rather than for someone else. Your goal should be important, but not outside the realm of possibility. Choose goals that stir your soul. If you figure out what you really want, and ask for it, you are likely to achieve your goal. Here are some examples of how to set and plan a worthwhile goal. Perhaps your aim is to develop 10 new customers for your company this month. Your ambition could be to start a new company. It could be a personal achievement, say, finishing a marathon. The goal might be, as President Kennedy declared, “to land on the moon within ten years.” In your case, the goal may be closer to home. Perhaps you want to increase the happiness of your family. Your objective could be to feel fulfilled, connected and joyful. Do you ask yourself what you want out of life? Deciding the direction of your life is a worthwhile goal. Stress sometimes pushes us off course. If you are moving in the wrong direction, your goal is to turn yourself around. Aristotle said, “Become by doing.” You may not see the end of the path. You may wonder if you have it in you to accomplish it. But, with each step forward, you build your skills for the journey. Doors open. Possibilities are uncovered. You draw in new ideas. Inspiration and intuition grow stronger. Follow Your Task List to Reach Your Goal Prepare a list of tasks that will lead you forward toward your goal. The task list will act as a map to keep you on course. These daily tasks should be small, persistent actions. Procrastination is born out of your fear of failure. Small actions done relentlessly can lead to big results. Train Your Mind to Achieve Your Goal Change your thoughts and you can change your life. Now, train your mind in the direction of your goal. Let your goal become the essence of your life. Get jazzed up about it. Become positive about your success and your own worthiness. Practice positive affirmations about realizing your goal. Pledge yourself to success. Carry yourself like someone who has already achieved the goal. Meditate on your goal. Practice relaxation techniques that free you from the nattering nabobs of negativity. Brainstorm about your goal. Take yourself out of your comfort zone by trying new things, visiting new places, making new acquaintances. Explore new possibilities. The novelty of these experiences will make you more creative and more inventive. Develop focus. Keep your eyes on the goal. At the start, daydreaming about the goal and reading about the goal will help keep your focused. They will help you refine your goal and make it more concrete. When you feel you are stuck in a rut, reading and positive imaging will build your enthusiasm. It takes drive, resolve and passion to make big things happen. Start thinking and acting like a successful person who has already achieved your goal. Anticipate how it will feel to be a college graduate. How will you act with the new promotion. Live the success by anticipating it. Describe yourself as that successful person. I am a published author. I am a college graduate. I am a supervisor at my company. I signed up a hundred new customers. Reflect on your progress and how far you have come. And as you make progress, recall the breakthroughs you’ve experienced. Review the results you’ve claimed. Extend thanks to those who lent a hand along the way. Maintain your momentum without getting burnt out. Daily Strategy To reach your goal, there are three steps required from you every day. The steps are sharing your goal taking action and making requests These three easy steps, repeated every day, create positive results. Cultivate a daily routine of share, request and act. Make this routine as instinctive as your morning cup of coffee. Start each day with your Daily Strategy, three steps that lead toward your goal. Devote a block of undistracted time each day to your strategy. Let nothing interfere with your progress. Harness the big power of small actions by doing your daily practice. Daily discipline is not just a choice. It is a basket of choices and opportunities. If you loose one opportunity, renew your determination to grab onto the next one. The butterfly effect is what happens when behaviors are extremely sensitive to initial conditions. Weather patterns, for example, are very sensitive to initial conditions. They say, tongue in cheek, that the movement of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil could be the initial cause of a tornado in Texas. Like the butterfly effect, your daily tasks of sharing, actions and requests will help you reach your goal faster. Daily Strategy #1 - Share Your Goal Let other people know about your goal. Each time you share your goal with others, you affirm it for yourself. It becomes easier to stay the course. When other people know your goal, they can also help make things happen. They will enjoy being part of the process. Share your goal in your emails, your conversations, with friends, with strangers. Prepare a two-minute elevator speech about your goal. Kim’s elevator speech goes like this: “I’m Kim Smith and I am the marketing group leader for XYZ company. Our products make it possible for thousands of manufacturers to improve quality and time to market. This month, I’m going to provide these benefits for 10 new customers. Could I have your business card? Daily Strategy #2 - Take Action To Achieve Your goal Actions, put into practice, move you closer to your goal. Your Task List will provide many daily actions. Divide your Task List into small manageable morsels. The action can include conversations, brainstorming, problem solving, tasks and learning. Each action clarifies the goal, clears the path and takes you a step closer to the final success. The power of small actions, repeated again and again, will carry you to victory. Daily Strategy #3 - Request Help to Reach Your Goal Is it difficult for you to ask others for directions or help? By asking of other people, you build a team that is dedicated to your personal goal. This might be hard at first if you are a loner or if you like to be self-sufficient. For starters, here are some examples of the help you could ask for, on the way to achieving your goal. You could request information about careers. You could request that someone attend a brainstorming meeting. You could request someone’s opinion. You could ask someone to review your progress. You could ask for suggestions. It will be very useful if you have someone to help keep you focused on the goal, to be the lighthouse for your ship. And, of course, when you make a request, you are also sharing your goal with someone else. Requests for help reaching your goal can take many forms, like these examples. Could you look over my sales letter and suggest improvements? Can you recommend an agent for my book? Will you explain this calculus problem? Do you know of any college scholarships and grants I might be eligible for? Could you baby-sit for me while I attend a parenting seminar? Can we talk about how you accomplished this? May I have your business card? Could I email you? Would you like to collaborate with me on the report? Do you know of anyone else who would benefit from our product? Turning Points As Your Goal Comes Closer One day you will experience an epiphany, one of those breakthrough moments. Your energies will get revved up, as something or someone gives you an extra push along the path. A breakthrough experience dissolves your resistance to action. You no longer see yourself as a victim. You no longer feel distracted or disengaged. For Bryan, whose goal was to lose weight, the epiphany came while he sat in the doctor’s office. After the exam, he doctor said candidly, “Well, you really are fat, aren’t you?” Bryan felt insulted. The more he thought about the insult, the angrier he got. As the result of these words, he moved forward with his plan to lose weight by diet and exercise. Whenever the going got hard, Bryan recalled the doctor’s candor and renewed his commitment to the diet. In this case, his breakthrough moment was something negative that turned into something positive, because it impelled him to action. A breakthrough in reaching your goal may come as you start understanding yourself better. You may recognize your tendency to slack off in midstream, to tread water and watch the world go by. Another breakthrough may come when you improve your skill level and things become easier. Maybe reading this article will be your breakthrough moment. Gosh, wouldn’t that be wonderful? Can you do this, plan for, set a goal and achieve it? You know you can. You can realize your goal, because you have the tools you need, the focus and the activities. No goal is out of reach. Share your daily practices. Stay in focused action and enjoy the journey. Source Article

Why Your Flaws Are Actually Your Strengths

Your flaws are actually your strengths

Take a moment to think about what makes you unique. What’s that one thing that makes you feel different from other people in your life? Don’t let yourself get away with believing you aren’t unique, because that’s never true. I’m not talking about something that makes you one-in-a-million unique — this isn’t a fairytale, this is real life. I mean, what makes you stand out from your friends or coworkers? It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but I do believe it’s there, and if you get honest with yourself, you believe it too.

Maybe there’s a trait you’re not thrilled about. Maybe you’re quiet and a bit uncomfortable in large social groups. Sure, that can be a disadvantage in certain situations, but that’s only one side of the story. People who feel socially awkward are usually a bit too “in their head” to act normally without overthinking things. Thinking too much feels like a flaw in those situations, but having a lot going on in your head can be a huge advantage in other parts of life. You might make a really good writer, comedian or entrepreneur. You probably have a great analytical mind that lot of people don’t.

Embrace your uniqueness

It’s far too common that people shy away from what they’re good at because they see it as a flaw. Whatever your unique “flaw” is, there’s a path where you can make it work for you. For my whole life, I’ve talked too much. If there’s silence, I fill the void by rambling, and when I catch myself, I feel embarrassed for not being able to just “play it cool”. I get so excited and then it’s almost out of my control. Until I considered writing and starting a podcast, it felt like a major personality flaw, but now my non-stop brain chatter is being funnelled into something productive and (hopefully) helpful to some people. I only had to learn how to reframe my flaw to make it something I’m proud of, and you can do the same. This is 2018 — whatever you’re passionate about, you can build a life around it with enough time and persistence.

Fortunately, everyone likes different things, so something you love might be something others can’t stand, and that’s an opportunity. Some people love numbers and problem solving, and some hate those things, but love gardening and cooking. Embrace your uniqueness and let it drive you forward into a place of fulfillment.

Failure is still progress

Even if you try something and fail, you’ll be in a much better place. If you want it badly enough, you’ll get back up and keep learning. If you realize it’s actually not what you thought it would be, then you can rest your mind knowing that you gave it a shot. If you fail initially at something you genuinely love, you won’t feel like giving up. You might be discouraged, but if you care about it, you will accept that everyone has to start somewhere. You’ll get back up and try again until you break through that barrier, and you’ll thank yourself for doing it.

Think about the difference between someone born into wealth and someone born into modest surroundings. The wealthy person may never really need to work. They might be able to relax their whole life, while the other has to work hard for everything. The thing is, working hard in life is like exercise for your mind. It strengthens your muscles for gratitude and fulfillment. Have you ever gone to the gym or done something physically exhausting? When did you feel better, before or after? The wealthy person’s life might be “easier”, but easy is the wrong goal. Fulfillment is the right goal.

Confronting your fear

Fear inside you is an indication of a deeper desire, and it’s not going away unless you face it head on. Ignored fears only fade when they turn to regrets. When you break down what you’re afraid of, the worst case scenario is never as bad as you think. Your fears almost never match up with what you’re losing by listening to those fears. There’s so much to gain and so little to lose, so take that next step today, whatever that is for you.

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